Do you ever wake up from hours of ZzZzzZZ’s and ask yourself, “Why am I still tired?”
That’s what I did this morning.
After a Thursday of non-stop relaxation and intermittent napping and THEN, bedtime at 9:30pm, it was a wonder to me how I could be so tired this Friday morning. I woke up to an alarm around 5:13am (cause it’s so much more fun to set random times).
No motivation to move.
I’m a morning person, so these occurrences bewilder me.
In simultaneous worry and curiosity, I recall that I have Type 1 Diabetes. [Ha. I often forget.]
Of course, I couldn’t just be tired just for the sake of being tired. Not with T1D. I know this feeling. I must be HI, I think to myself. Perhaps, I didn’t give myself enough insulin last night when I bloused at bedtime? If that’s the case, I feel like I have a chance at redemption. I could correct this HI, get more sleep and wake up later to a BS in the normal range.
I energize myself enough to (1) go to the bathroom and (2) check my blood sugar.
i AM (just) tired.
Back to sleep anyway.
I woke up again at 6:something am.
10 more minutes. I promised myself I’d get up just minutes before my favorite café opens, so I could throw on some sweats and get there in time for the doors to open. Be the first customer. [There’s something so lovely to having the first pick to any seat in the house.]
That would’ve been ideal. But, after the 10 minutes were up, I convinced myself that I need to listen to my body. So, I slept alarm-less. I am blessed to be able to do that these days.
8:08am. I stretched and jumped out of bed. Still somewhat bereft of energy.
I am humbled to experience this – having assumed that diabetes is impacting my energy levels, my affect, my life. And it totally wasn’t.
I am humbled to experience this – this moment when I am more than my Type 1 Diabetes.
I am just me.